For Jane

What Ales didn’t translate and bit more

Such a peaceful afternoon today! We came back from playgroups after quick walk to Deptford market to meet colleague from work who’s doing the same course and who was carrying some prints that he did for me in the office. The day was bright and sunny and I enjoyed chatting with friends and exchanging breaking news on growing teethes, weaning process and so on. Bought some biscuits for babies and realized later that S. can hold it and chew it quite well, even though its very messy business. I got as well pretty drinking cup for babies, which he manages to hold with both hands and spray the water all over his face (because its NOT non-split cup but easy-flow, that I’ve been advised is much better).

Then I fed him and he fell asleep, and for the rest of the afternoon slept in his cot as peaceful as never and I had to go and check if he is breathing because he loves to have his head covered with blanket.
I almost finished the other assignment, then the delivery guy brought my parcel from mothercare asking how the little one’ is (we met few times before and he’s Igbo).

I couldn’t believe how calm and lasting the moments were, I felt such a happiness! I digged out last cigarette forgotten in Franklin’s jumper that I borrowed earlier and stood out on our doorsteps, with the dawn falling, windows around lightened up and just let all go.

You know why I did hide at the embassy corner? Because I was fighting my emotions, but deep inside there was this practical voice saying "just hold on, hold on. If you wait long enough, you’ll get it. Its somewhere there and you know it. You just CANT change the way this place works.."

So that’s it. No strategy, just pure rationality: If I give up now, I’ll have to go through it again.

Have to go, he’s up now, laughing at me from his space walker’ and we’re going to meet F. at the bus stop. Dinner is ready – delicious fish from market, Silver slapper or something like that ;-)

Take care

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